Saturday, 31 December 2016

How To Survive New Year as an Introvert

Introverting is hard work.   Hiding away and trying to avoid people might not seem like a challenge but, believe me, it very much is.  I am the woman who refuses to answer my door or home phone. In fact, I rarely even answer my mobile phone unless I know who's calling.  My husband tells me I'm terrible on the phone and he's absolutely right.  I see no need for talking when I could send a text message.  Or maybe a carrier pigeon, to get my point across. To be honest, I'm of the introvert category that most of the time I don't even bother *putting* my point across. I don't have the energy for communication that isn't electronic.

Being this adverse to communicating makes Hogmanay (I'm Scottish; this is our word for That Night) a bit of a worry.  Aside from the pressure to do something special, I just really can't cope with having another night of fun when I'm still recovering from all the peopleing I had to do over Christmas.  I need at least a month between events, if not several more.  This is my guide to surviving New Year's Eve as an introvert:

Don't Go Out On The Moors:
Yep, you heard me right.  Stay home, lock your doors, lie on the couch and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES answer the phone.  Yes, people may think you're horrible and rude but, do you really need those people in your life?  I think not.  Plus, once you spend one NY this way, it's highly likely you'll set a pattern for those to follow.

Set off your own fireworks in the garden and don't invite anyone to watch
Don't Use An Excuse:
Don't feel that you have to tell people you have other plans/are ill/would feel the need to put your bra on if you left the house.  Just say No.  I am the Queen of Excuses and, although they're usually true, I also mostly just don't want to do stuff.  My depression and stomach problems are more than enough to get me out of anything, but even if these weren't an issue, there's every chance I would still be the same.  Stop excusing your introverted ways and take a leaf out of my sister's book.

On Boxing Day, I answered a call at my parent's house from my older sibling.  She has 3 young sons (one of whom was sick) and was knackered from spending the previous days preparing food, wrapping presents and working two jobs.  I took her call to hear her tell me she literally couldn't be bothered coming over for dinner.  She wanted to sit in her jammies and watch football, probably with a glass of Champagne in hand, and just not DO anything.  It amused me that she was so honest.  Between her refusal to go round the houses to tell us she wasn't coming and our completely relaxed and understanding attitute, she knew it wasn't a problem.  This is how I want to be.  And these are the people you need in your life.  But you can't have them because they're mine and I don't do sharing.  Seriously, though: stop excusing yourself.  You don't need to. 

If you don't invite people round, there'll be more Champagne for you...
Have Your Own Party:
As far as I'm aware there's no minimum number of people required in the same space in order for it to qualify as a party.  I am the lone party queen.  Seriously.  I can be found of an evening, dancing around the house on my own, blasting out my music and singing at the top of my voice (I'd like to point out here that I live in the middle of nowhere and that no one else can hear)  This, to me, is way more fun that being stuck in a party dress, eating tiny food and making awkward chat with strangers. 

If you want to introvert on Hogmanay, do it with as many or as few people as you choose. You don't have to be out on the streets of Edinburgh or Cardiff in the freezing cold with thousands of other people.  You don't even have to be down the local pub.  You can simply spend the evening relaxing with close friends and family.  Unless, of course, those friends and family are out on the streets of Edinburgh or Cardiff or down the local pub. Then you might have to rethink your plans. 

Embrace Your Introvert:
You might as well face it: it's the way you are.  If people have a problem with it, it's exactly that: THEIR problem.  Don't make it yours.  This time of year, more than any other, with everyone making promises to change and be better people and all that other crap that gets spouted, why not also make a change? Why not just accept that you're introverted?  You can't help it; you didn't choose it, but it is what it is. Stop making excuses for it and stop feeling bad about it.   Living in a world of extroverts doesn't mean you have to be like them.  it's OK NOT to be like them.  After all, they probably wouldn't want to be like you.  If we were all the same the world would be very boring.  It would also be extremely quiet and we'd all be at home with our dogs, but at least there'd be less fighting, right?  Introverts don't start wars because OHMYGOD the confrontation. 

Whatever you choose to do this New Year, make sure it's YOUR choice.  If you need me, I'll be at home in front of the TV in my jammas, eating rubbish and drinking Champagne with the doors bolted and in the company of my husband.  I can't think of a better way to bring in 2017.  

Happy Hogmanay!

Suz x




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